First I should state that for those that may be unaware; I
am an agnostic. Put simply and broadly I neither believe nor disbelieve in the existence
of a higher power. In slightly more detail, my personal beliefs include that if
an individual person truly believes in god then she/he exists- simply because that
person believes it to be true. Similarly if another person of a different
religion believes something different, then that too is true- simply because
they believe it. This is the power of the mind. I believe we should have
respect for all people and their beliefs. I draw the line where one person’s
beliefs turn into actions which interfere with the life and beliefs of another.
Essentially I believe that all people should love one another.
Now…
I went to Church with my Tico cousin on Saturday night. The
service began at 5pm but we arrived around 3:30. For a while we sat under the
shade of a water apple tree, and I was given a brief showing of La Iglesia (the
church). The first thing that I noticed was that I was over dressed. I had worn
a knee length blue skirt and a nice matching tank top and cardigan. HAHA! My first
mistake was knowing that I was participating in order to have a cultural
experience, and not first asking what I should wear. While approaching the door
I observed some people shouting. Promptly, I questions Jefferson as to why they
were shouting!? To which he responded, “They’re praying”. VERDAD!? – surely this
was something I had never seen before.
Over all, I really enjoyed the building. In general the structure
of a church/temple/mosque etc… bothers me. I do not find them to be necessary
in order to worship. I believe that people are closest to higher powers
outside, not in a manmade structure with fancy décor and strange rituals. I
believe people are capable of pure and honest worship in a basic space either
alone or with those they love, and at any hour of the day or day of the week-
not simply on Saturday or Sunday so that some people can feel better about not
being religious for the rest of the days. I must say though. I found myself to
be very fond of this structure. It was plain. Simply with a stage and enough
space for 1,188 chairs. No, I did not count each one- I know because there were
12 sections of chairs in rows of 9X11.
I also found the people to be very enjoyable. It was a
church for young people, and they seemed to really enjoy themselves. The music
was amazing as well. I found myself swaying and dancing and smiling. My friend
Hannah would have felt right at home, and boy do I miss her.
So all was well….. until the sermon. It was about sex. It
was in Spanish, and I understood much of it. I actually understand Spanish multiple
times better than I can speak it. The pastor announced and shouted with passion
and vigor that it was against god to use birth control, that sex and marriage
were only to be between a man and a woman, and that sex outside of marriage was
of course a sin. The more he repeated himself and the more passionate about his
words that he became the more agitated I felt. This alone would have been
tolerable, because I can respectfully listen and it is no big deal. What
happened at the end really got me thinking. The pastor asked for those that had
sinned to step forward and ask forgiveness from god. Thirty or so youth stepped
forward. One by one they fell to their knees and begged the forgiveness of god.
Some of those that appeared to be higher up in the church went to them one by
one and they spoke. People cried. People sobbed. People shook on their knees
and laid their bodies so low to the ground you could have mistaken them for
intense physical pain.
This agitated me above all. Why are we falling at the feet
of god for forgiveness? Why are we not falling at the feet of those that our
actions have harmed and asking for THEIR forgiveness?? How is this more
important? Surely forgiveness of god is more about forgiving one’s self, or
pretending that one has been forgiven. Though surely also this does not change
the consequences of whatever the sin/action happened to be… I truly am at a
loss…
